The dating game can be really difficult and nerve wracking at times. Here’s what you can do to get past your nerves and self-consciousness so you can eventually build a genuine and loving relationship.
Focus on the present moment
To combat first-date nerves, you may focus your attention outward, rather than on your internal thoughts and feelings. Try to be fully present in the moment: in what your date is saying and doing and what’s going on around you. This will help take your mind off distracting doubts, worries, and insecurities.
Show genuine interest.
The best way to connect with someone new is to be curious. When you’re truly curious about someone else’s thoughts, feelings, experiences, stories, and opinions, it shows—and they’ll like you for it. You’ll come across as far more attractive and interesting than if you spend your time trying to promote yourself to your date.
Showing interest in others can’t be faked. If you’re just pretending to listen or care, your date will pick up on it. No one likes to be manipulated or placated. Rather than helping you connect and make a good impression, your efforts will most likely backfire. If you aren’t genuinely interested in your date, there is little point in pursuing the relationship further.
The cell phone stays in your purse.
You can’t truly pay attention to anyone or forge a genuine connection when you’re multitasking. Nonverbal communication—subtle gestures, expressions, and other visual cues—tell us a lot about what’s going on in the other person’s head and how they’re perceiving and responding to us. But they’re easy to miss unless you are tuned in.
Get out of your mind and into your heart
Relationships are built on the connections we make in accordance with what happens from one moment to the next. If our intention is to be in a relationship, we can’t be somewhere else in our thoughts. 😉