March 24, 2016 Harriet Brookes

My boyfriend wants a secret relationship…

You are dating a gorgeous guy and everything seems to be perfect except from the fact that  he is asking you to keep your relationship secret? There are a number of reasons why he might be doing his best to keep your relationship a secret:

The first possibility is that you’re not the only girl he’s going out with. Society has a ton of names for this situation, but if he is going so far as to ask you to hide your feelings and status from your friends, it’s likely because he doesn’t want them to know. There could very well be another girl in the picture, and he doesn’t want the news getting back to her. 😎 

Another reason could be that he just sees you as temporary, and doesn’t want to spoil his chances with someone else. He may be into one of your friends, and by keeping them in the dark about being with you, he can still pursue them (or anyone else) when you’re not around. This is the same idea as having a “safety net” relationship, where you know if nothing better comes along, there is a person you kept hanging to go back to.

Also, he could just be emotionally or physically using you… many people just want someone so they can feel wanted, even if they don’t feel any emotions whatsoever. This is about as unhealthy as it gets, but it’s still a possibility.   🙁 

One more reason for having a relationship with someone secretly is because you worry what other people will think.  This is a reason that mainly affect women but sometimes also a man can have a secret relationship because he want to keep away his close family and friends from this relationhip. Maybe your parents or friends would not approve of this person. You should really stop and consider why they wouldn’t approve before having a secret relationship. Your family and friends really just want what’s best for you in most cases. Now and then there are situations where they just want to impose their will on you. But for the most part, they’re looking out for you.
Do they feel the person will hurt you, or doesn’t treat you right? Has that person given them reason to think the relationship might not be a good one? If they disapprove on those grounds, you can hardly blame them. In fact, keeping the relationship a secret hints that you might not disagree completely.

Finally, in a healthy relationship, there is no reason to hide. When you keep something secret, it usually means you are afraid of someone finding out, or are embarrassed or ashamed about it, or both. This can make YOU feel like you are unworthy of being his public girlfriend. Ask yourself why he would want to keep this a secret. If your best friend were in a relationship like this, what would you advise her to do? 😉 

Tagged: , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *