February 15, 2016 Harriet Brookes

Are you too picky in dating?

When you have some standars about your dating life is good, as long as standars are not too high… but what about when someone is too picky?

It’s great to have standards – it’s very important to know what you want out of a relationship in order to have a fulfilling one. But at the same time, I think it’s also really important to be open to dating people who aren’t your usual “type.” Being open to new people can sometimes lead you to some awesome experiences and being too closed off can hurt you sometimes.
Becoming less or more picky than you currently are about whom you date may improve your chances of finding true love – for the first time or again. Read below to see how you can adjust your pickiness level.

You are too picky if:

1. You have no problem getting dates, but everyone you date has something about him or her that turns you off.

2. You have very specific ideas about who your partner needs to be: a particular religion, income level, profession, very similar interests, etc.

3. You need a person to prove himself or herself to you over and over again, before you consider opening up to him or her.

4. You need a partner to never let you down.

5. You have a particular style or type of person you like and will only date this kind of person.

6.You often have decided that there won’t be a second date before you go on the first.

7.You are always the rejector and never the rejectee. Except that one time when your date was being too picky. Which doesn’t count. 

  • Again, you’re probably too picky if you have a very specific type you’re looking for. Particularly, a physical type. IE. I only date blondes or I prefer brunettes. Often the people who end up being perfect for us are much different than what we expect and anticipate. Don’t limit yourself to one type of person, who may not be right for you anyway, but instead look for chemistry and a connection. 
  • A common habit of people who are extremely picky in their dating lives is that they summarize, judge and criticize everything that’s wrong or not what they typically like about someone, without even knowing them. Before you pick someone apart, give them a chance to show you who they are, not who you assume they are.
  • It’s important that you don’t date just anyone and you hold out for what you’re looking for and don’t settle. The longer you go without letting anyone into your intimate world, the pickier you will become and the harder it will be to let someone in.

You must picky on this:

Look beyond the externals and your ‘type’ (how’s that working for you?), and focus on the heart and soul of a potential partner.

Appreciate your date for who he or she has become, for the inner work they’ve done to improve their lives.

Don’t judge them based on who they were in their last relationship.

Be picky about finding a partner who makes you feel safe, cherished, heard, and seen.

Not someone who makes you feel nervous, insecure, and ignored. 

Be picky about what lies beneath the surface. Find out why your date chose their profession and what they love about the work they do.

Finally, its not bad having high expectations but make sure they’re grounded in reality. 😉  😉 



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